Beginning The Conversation

Since issuing the first blog post in this adventure to find balance in my life I chose to begin with the area of communication. This is a great place for me to start. I feel it to be important, of course, and have been told that I often expell so many words that at times my conversations create less than effective communication. Wikipedia summarizes communication as so; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communication

Communication is a process whereby information is enclosed in a package and is discreeted and imparted by sender to a receiver via a channel/medium. The receiver then decodes the message and gives the sender a feedback. Communication requires that all parties have an area of communicative commonality. There are auditory means, such as speaking, singing and sometimes tone of voice, and nonverbal, physical means, such as body language, sign language, paralanguage, touch, eye contact, by using writing.
Communication is thus a process by which we assign and convey meaning in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in intrapersonal and interpersonal processing, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing, and evaluating. It is through communication that collaboration and cooperation occur.[2].....
There are also many common barriers to successful communication, two of which are message overload (when a person receives too many messages at the same time), and message complexity.[3] communication is a continuous process.

So what does communication mean to you? Searching the land of Twitter I have found that communication has different meanings. To some it is simply saying what you have to say, with others it is about intention meeting to create meaning.  Here are just a few of the twits that I liked.
 
EarthMotherHeal: RT @CoachDawn: "Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, & just as hard to sleep after." Anne Morrow Lindbergh #quote
 
brettlegree: @chrisbrogan it is amazing how inefficient *any* text-only communication is, and yet it what we use - email, Twitter, blogs, IM... :)
 
Gitay9: Realizes one of the main reasons communication between two people is so difficult is b/c while one talks the other does NOT listen!!!
 
PilatesbyAIM: Communication breaks down if one fails to recognize that all happenings in life run on a continuum; there is always a pattern that connects.
 
business_system: Communication from the heart is a precious expression of love. Write that letter, make that call today or send that email
 
This last Twit reminded me of one of my favorite tools for creating a letter to someone with whom you would like to reconnect or resolve an issue. The reason I liked the idea of a letter is that my words often get tangled up with feelings and emotions making my intention less clear than I would like. To begin it is important to tell the other person how important the relationship is to you then explaining where you feel the relationship deserves mending. Maybe there was a misunderstanding that caused hurt to one or the both of the parties. Maybe, it is an old relationship that deserves a reunion. Next you take accountability for your part in creating the damage that has been done and ask if the other party is open in re-creating the relationship in a way that works for the both of you.
 
I have found this letter to be a very effective tool even when the other party does not respond in a way that I would choose, if they respond at all. The reason I feel this way is because of what it does for me. It gives me time to reflect constructively on past events and take accountability for my part. The letter provides a way for me to create a restitution with my self and my Creator so that I am in alignment with who I know myself to be. This letter is certainly not a magic wand that you wave to resolve to all of your relationship problems, but, it is the beginning of a conversation that can lead to resolution in your relationships and with yourself.
 
Look for my next post when I will share the results of the Communication Skills Test I found at http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=683 Feel free to take the test yourself and join the conversation.
 
If you have any tools, books, or other resources that would progress this conversation about communication please share.
 
Till next time... Live BIG,
 
Elle